


it’s a liberal arts degree, aziraphale. what could it cost, ten dollars?

by MagpieWords



Series: AUgust 2020 - Magpiewords [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Comedy, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Roommates, aziraphale is posh, crowley is dramatic, god is a very busy college dean who does not have time for these two, talking with the dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25673728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagpieWords/pseuds/MagpieWords
Summary: “A roommate is not an emergency.”College freshmen Anthony Crowley and Aziraphale Fell disagree.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: AUgust 2020 - Magpiewords [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1860265
Comments: 9
Kudos: 63
Collections: AUgust 2020





	it’s a liberal arts degree, aziraphale. what could it cost, ten dollars?

**Author's Note:**

> Day two of AUgust! This is the first fic I wrote for the challenge, actually. It's fun and light, and if I had time, I'd love to expand it into something more. Maybe someday...

It should have been easier to speak with the Dean. If someone was going to be in charge of Anthony J. Crowley’s entire education and thus his future, they needed to be accessible. Because the balance of a person’s entire education and thus future could shift with the slightest breeze and Crowley had to be able to speak with someone about that.

“Sir, you need an appointment to—” A secretary tried to stop him, standing in the narrow space between her desk and the wall. Crowley rolled his eyes, that wasn’t going to stop him. Planting a paint-stained palm on her desk, he tossed his body over the bulk of it, high top shoes squeaking along the floor as he landed.

“Sir, the Dean is already—”

But Crowley was already opening the door. “Dean Vina, I know I don’t have an appointment but this is critically important.”

“Ah, Anthony.” Dean Vina was a woman rarely surprised. She put down her pen, and reached into a drawer to add a second single-sheet of paper to her otherwise paperless desk. She smiled at Crowley, and even with the irritation written along the wrinkles next to her eyes, the expression still made him feel warm. “Have a seat.”

It was only when she gestured to the chairs across her desk that Crowley realized what the secretary meant, that the Dean was “already” something-ing. Another student was sitting in the office. Unlike the Dean, he was very surprised to be interrupted. 

“Hi,” Crowley offered, waving half-heartedly as he dropped in the remaining chair. Unlike Crowley, the other student sat like he was being graded on posture (which Crowley had triple checked his syllabi - that was not a grade) and kept his hands neatly pooled in the lap of his khaki trousers. He was still just staring at Crowley, all wide baby blue eyes and pale blond curls that seemed to have been ruffled just at the force of the office door being slammed open. He looked to the Dean, who had yet to let her smile falter, before looking back at Crowley.

“This is a private appointment,” he said. His big blue eyes narrowed, plush lips twitching into a frown.

Continuing the list of features that Crowley shouldn’t be dedicating precious brain space to, his accent actually earned a bark of laughter from Crowley. “You’re from across the pond too, huh? That’s what all the students here would say, I think. Honestly, I probably shouldn’t have needed to hear the accent to guess you weren’t from the area. No one else in Massachusetts would wear a sweater vest in this August heat. You a freshman too?”

The other student opened his mouth to respond, eyes flickering down across Crowley’s body and no doubt seeing that his dark attire and skin tight denim put the concern about temperature as pure hypocrisy, but he seemed to think better of it and turned his attention back to the Dean. “Ma’am, should I reschedule?”

“Not if you want to see me before October, Aziraphale. I’m a very busy woman.” She had already opened her impossibly slim laptop and had likely gone through a half dozen emails during Crowley’s little monologue. “Anthony, you had something critical to discuss with me?”

“Ah, yes!” Crowley clapped his hands and leaned forward until he was nearly off the chair. “I need permission to move off campus.”

Aziraphale laughed and it immediately stole away Crowley’s attention. How could such a perfect sound come out of someone wearing khakis? “I suppose you can help us both, Dean.” He shifted slightly, leaning over the arm of his chair to stage whisper to Crowley. “That’s what I’m here for too.”

“Oh,” was all the eloquence Crowley could supply, seeing Aziraphale’s smile suddenly directed at him.

“And,” the Dean took his focus back, “I’m afraid I will give you the same answer as Azirpahale. Freshman cannot live off campus their first year.”

“But this is an emergency!” Both students shouted together and Crowley felt his attention drift away from the problem at hand again. He barely had time for friendships outside of the networking events he had lined up for his first semester, and he really wouldn’t have time for a crush.

Dean Vina sighed. “A roommate is not an emergency.”

“It absolutely is!” Aziraphale looked scandalized. “My father had me guaranteed for a single dorm, but when I had my bags brought up, there was already someone set up in my room!”

Dean Vina gave Aziraphale a calculating look, before her gaze slid to Crowley. “And what do you think of that, Anthony?”

“Crowley.” He corrected, still staring at Aziraphale.

“Mr. Crow—”

“Nah, nah, just Crowley.” He tore his gaze away from the other student. “Vina, I mean he’s kind of got a point. These rooms are sacred. We’re going to be spending at least the next one hundred days living here. We want to feel safe. I mean, I left my own dorm for just a few minutes and someone broke in!”

Dean Vina was a woman rarely surprised, so seeing her brows rising towards her curls was almost comical. “A break-in is actually an emergency. But Crowley, you should have gone to the campus police. Was something stolen or damaged?”

“No, but there’s suddenly a bunch of stuff in there that isn’t mine.”

Upon closer inspection, maybe the Dean’s expression wasn’t of surprise. It was comical, though, about a joke only she could understand. She glanced between her laptop and the two freshmen sitting in front of her, nodding to herself. “Crowley, are you aware you have a roommate?”

“I shouldn’t. I specifically requested not to have one.”

“And you didn’t think the two separate beds in your dorm indicated that request was denied?”

It had been odd, but Crowley had assumed all freshman dorms were odd. “Wait, denied? No, Vina, I can’t have a roommate.”

“And neither can I,” Aziraphale chimed in. “I cannot even begin to imagine sleeping mere inches away from a total stranger.”

Crowley choked back a laugh. “That’s, uh, that’s not my reason. I have slept very close to strangers many times.”

Dean Vina had gone back to checking her emails, decidedly ignoring whatever look Crowley was giving Aziraphale. “Anthony Crowely, I would appreciate you explaining your own reason or for you to leave my office.”

“I can’t share a room because… Well I can’t do—” He tried to gesture with his hands, but that didn’t exactly decompose the situation. Crowley found himself tripping over his words, looking back and forth between an equally unamused Aziraphale and Dean. “You see I have all these… What you don’t understand is—”

The Dean shut her laptop, with perhaps more force than necessary, and gave her full attention to Crowley. “Help me understand or get out.”

“My studies. I’m triple majoring. I’m taking twenty credit hours and I won't be able to pass my classes if I have to juggle a roommate on top of everything. I need a place to study and, no,” Crowley kicked over the chair as he rose to his feet, voice rising with him “Before you suggest the library like everyone else has, that won't work. They all close at one and I can’t—”

“The libraries here close at one in the afternoon?” Aziraphale stood too, though his chair remained vertical. His hands flew to his mouth, like he was a few centuries late to witness a particularly tragic event.

“In the morning, Zira.”

“I prefer Aziraphale.”

Crowley nodded, but turned his attention back to the Dean. “I do my best work at three in the morning, so if you deny me the space to do so, you are denying me my education, wasting valuable scholarship dollars which I have earned, and sabotaging my future as a contributing member of society. Are you willing to have that blood on your hands, Dr. Theodosia Vina?”

The silence that echoed after Crowley’s vocal onslaught was made slightly less impactful at the quiet applause given from Aziraphale. Crowley shot him a withering look but the other freshman didn’t seem to notice.

“So,” The Dean caught his attention. “You did your homework to learn my name, yet you didn’t learn your roommate’s?”

“I didn’t think I had one!”

She was unblinking at Crowley’s shouting, simply steeping her fingers together in front of her. She smiled again, with what Crowley could now see was the same faux warmth from when he had walked into the room. A smile that did little to hide the ire in her eyes. “Well, gentlemen, I have good news for you both.”

“Oh delightful!” Aziraphale clapped again. “Thank you, ma’am, I knew with a bit of discussion we could—”

She held up a hand and Aziraphale obediently fell silent. “Mr. Fell, you will not sleep inches from a stranger. Mr. Crowley, you will have a room in which I am confident you can study at all hours of the night.”

“Oh.” Crowley didn’t realize how tense his posture had become until he felt his shoulders drop. “I didn’t think this would be that easy.”

Dean Vina only smiled wider, her teeth making an appearance that made the ire in her eyes far less terrifying than the amusement it was replaced with. “You aren’t strangers to each other and I have it on good authority you both enjoy various activities well past civil hours.”

“What?” Aziraphale asked, not quite having caught up yet.

Crowley felt his spine tense up again. “Oh no.”

“If you boys have any further roommate concerns, please address them to your resident advisor. And if you have anything that’s actually an emergency to discuss with me, my next appointment is November 19th.”

“No no no, Vina, please, this is a terrible idea.”

“What makes you think this was my idea?” She reopened her laptop, and her smile settling into a smirk gave everything away.

“This is not the last you’ll hear from me, Thea.”

“Oh I’m sure it won't be, Anthony. Have a good semester.”

“Wait, could someone please explain what just happened?” Aziraphale asked as Crowley grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the Dean’s office. The secretary yelled something after them but Crowley didn’t bother listening. He only let go of Aziraphale once they were back out on the quad, then he held his hand out to him.

“My name is Anthony J. Crowley and I’m your roommate. I’m studying philosophy, business, and astronomy. I had to fight harder than anyone in the world to attend here. Everyone said I couldn’t do it, but I did. And I will be damned before I let you fuck this up for me.”

Oddly enough, Aziraphale smiled. He took Crowley’s paint stained hand and his grip was firmer than expected for palms that appeared so soft. “Aziraphale Fell, Literature, and I didn’t even want to go to Harvard.”

**Author's Note:**

> How her name would be written outside the office is "Dean Vina, T" aka divinity. ahaha arent i clever
> 
> Is there a thesis about names, the learning of them, and the respect we have for them somewhere in here? maybe.
> 
> tbh, all of this was inspired by the idea that most 'school au' fics have crowley as a problem student and Aziraphale as an overachiever. While I love that, consider : Crowley is fighting the odds and wants to be brilliant no matter what anyone says, while Aziraphale has the world handed to him on a silver platter and absolutely refuses to attend 80% of his classes if he doesn't think they're interesting.
> 
> Will Crowley minor in art while triple majoring? yes, and he'll die trying. My one flaw this this AU is that i have denied Crowley his love of sleep, but I figured that's what holiday breaks were for.


End file.
